17 great gift ideas for ELIZABETH's brithday

in spite of the drama surrounding my missing bag, let's not forget that tuesday is a very impt day. why? because bird is going to get a lot older. (for really dense ppl: it's her birthday!) oh no i hope you haven't forgotten! she'll pulverize you! haha in any case if you need any last minute advice, here are some things i think bird would like you to get for her:

1. jay chou
2. ligo raisins (have you seen how many boxes she gets through?)
3. any thing that is shit-coloured (though i'm not sure if she fancies shit itself)
4. a sausage from the chinese food stall
5. laxatives (cos she's so full of shit!)
6. a german jersey complete with colours at the armpits...
7. ...michael ballack (ewwww)
8. a bird!
9. a bag (if she doesn't like it she can always give it to me)
10. the mcfly cd
11. wasabe! (haha bird you REALLY like that right?)
12. chocolate (everybody loves chocolate! and she can share it too!)
13. free chem tuition
14. TWO sausages from the chinese food stall
15. a lizard for eLIZARDbird... :)
16. a chicken suit
17. worms (i'm running out of ideas)