"tips on how to survive at sea after a shipwreck"

1. always read instructions carefully.

2. do not drink urine. or sea water. or bird blood.

3. do not eat jellyfish. or fish that are armed with spikes. or that have parrot-like beaks. or that puff up like balloons.

4. pressing the eyes of fish will paralyze them.

5. put up your feet at least 5 minutes every hour.

6. unnecessary exertion should be avoided. but an idle mind tends to sink, so the mind should be kept occupied with whatever light distraction may suggest itself. playing card games, Twenty Questions and I Spy With My Little Eye are excellent forms of recreation. community singing is another sure-fire way to lift the spirits. yarn spinning is also highly recommended.

7. green water is shallower than blue water.

8. look for green. ultimately, a foot is the only good judge of land.

9. do not go swimming. it wastes energy. besides, a survival craft may drift faster than you can swim. not to mention the danger of sea life. if you are hot, wet your clothes instead.

10. do not urinate in your clothes. the momentary warmth is not worth the nappy rash.

11. so long as no excessive water is lost through perspiration, the body can survive up to 14 days without water. if you feel thirsty, suck a button.

12. don't let your morale flag. be daunted but not defeated. remember: the spirit, above all else, counts. if you have the will to live, you will. good luck!

---yann martel