it's a bit strange to find out that back in school, people were actually talking about/ looking at me a lot more than i would have expected. i guess that's what happens when you live in your own world and don't really pay attention to anybody around. sigh now i'm thinking like 'shit. maybe i really screwed it up a while back.' but realistically, there wasn't any other way to handle it... right? i shouldn't be bothered since it has been a really long time... and my sister thinks i should be able to do much better than that. aiyahhhhhh!!! this is a bit irritating. at least this holiday has come at a good time. need a break.